Monthly Sparks 2009 Archives

 

Each of us has a spark of life inside us,
and our highest endeavor ought to be to
set off that spark in one another. 
            ~ Kenny Ausubel

 


  December 2009


Bah Humbug
by Kevin Constance

 

Well, it's December. I have already had my fill of Holiday music. I will refrain from calling it Christmas music because it seems that much of it really has nothing to do with Christmas. If I listen to the radio when I drive, I typically listen to one of the local Christian radio stations, and I have to say that on Friday, the day after Thanksgiving, I had already had my fill of "Christmas" music. I've only had the radio on once since then, and I turned it off after about thirty seconds and drove for the next hour and a half, as well as the return trip home later that day, in silence.

Am I becoming Scrooge? I'm tired of "Holiday" music and shopping and ads and...... I mean, one of our local stores has had Christmas stuff on the shelves since the middle of October! I can't even go to the store for some groceries, or to the local big box for supplies without feeling like the stores are throwing up "Christmas" all over me. Occasionally, I check the bottoms of my shoes to see if I stepped in any. Sorry for the graphic imagery there, but I just don't want to have anything to do with all of it. And yet..., I actually put up some outdoor lighting for the first time in about five years. Since we are the only house on the block that has outdoor lighting put up, I have to ask myself, "Do my neighbors feel like I'm throwing up "Christmas" all over them?"

So, I've been wondering, how does God celebrate Christmas? After all, it is HIS Son's birthday. Our son, Alex, just turned twenty. I have to admit it was a pretty uneventful day. He is, after all, a half a world away in Japan. I thought about him several times throughout the day, and wished him my best in my thoughts and prayers, but that was it. Patience called and wished him a happy birthday via voice mail. It can be kind of difficult to make connections when there is a fifteen-hour time difference. We did send some birthday cards a couple of weeks ago, so he should have had them. And his birthday and Christmas presents? Well, they are literally on  a "slow boat to China (Japan)". I hope he enjoys them though.

As near as I can tell, the Father God celebrated the birth of His Son one time. Of course He did it up right like no one else could. He sent personalized invitations, via angels, to the lucky guests, um a bunch of shepherds, and arranged for the grandest of venues, a barn full of animals. And the gifts! Brought by a bunch of complete strangers, possibly up to two years late! Wonder what God thinks of all this hullabaloo we attribute to celebrating the birth of His Son?

We talk about how Jesus is the true reason for the season, but how would we celebrate Christmas if it weren't for all the "stuff"? As I have been writing this I have been thinking about some folks that I see around Pensacola on a regular basis. As a matter of fact, we see them so regularly on specific street corners that we notice when they aren't there more so than when they are! I wonder how they will celebrate Christmas? 

I don't ask that question lightly, I honestly wonder how they will celebrate the day. They obviously have little more than the clothes on their backs. How will they celebrate the birthday of God's Son? The amazing thing is that it was those very sorts of people who were invited to the first birthday party, and would later be the types of people Jesus would spend the most time ministering to.


If we stripped away all the holiday tinsel and imagery associated with Christmas, what would be left? What would we then celebrate? How would we celebrate? Would we celebrate?
 

 

 


There has been only one Christmas - the rest are anniversaries.  
  
 
     ~ W. J. Cameron

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?  It came without ribbons.  It came without tags.  It came without packages, boxes or bags.  And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore.  Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before.  What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store.  What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.
     ~ Dr. Seuss

Oh, for the good old days when people would stop Christmas shopping when they ran out of money.
     ~ Anonymous



New updates this Month:

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  November 2009


Highs and Lows
by Kevin Constance

 

The other night I came home from work and told Patience that I thought I had just had the worst day of my life. That was probably an exaggeration, it could have been worse, and I have had some pretty bad days interspersed throughout my life that would over-shadow this particular event, but the fact that it was preceded just a couple of days earlier by a “record setting” day seemed to accentuate the whole ordeal.

 

A few years ago I had an opportunity to hear Olympic ice skater Scott Hamilton speak. Some of you may be aware of some of his struggles throughout his life, the most notable possibly being his bout with cancer. As he shared his story he noted that throughout his life it seemed that whenever something good happened it was always followed by something bad. This pattern in his life was so prevalent to him that he actually began to expect something bad whenever something good happened.

 

I don't remember exactly everything that Scott shared that day, but if I recall correctly, it was during the time that he was dealing with cancer that one day his perspective changed and he began to realize that after every bad thing that happened, something good followed, and that in many cases it was actually the “bad” thing that paved the way for something good to follow. It seems like kind of a small thing, but what a huge mindset change. Just imagine the difference in your life if, instead of dreading the occurrence of something bad to follow after something good, you began to look forward to something good happening after, or maybe even because, something bad happened.

 

We have had an interesting past couple of years. It seems as though we have had more than our share of lows, and I confess that many times we have thought that we must be the only ones experiencing these things. But we have noticed that there are many others who are dealing with difficult circumstances, some that are similar to our own, some that are vastly different. During these times it has seemed that our first response has been something along the lines of, “Oh great, what else can go wrong?” and we begin thinking about what else could go wrong!

 

A few months ago, we were going through one of our lower points and I was asking God some pretty tough questions, at least I thought they were pretty tough. One day during those “tough” questions when I basically said, “Okay God, here is the situation, what am I supposed to do?”, the one-word answer came so clearly and distinctly it caught me off guard. There was one resounding word. Praise!

 

My questions didn't go away. In fact, now I had another question, because my working definition of praise seemed pretty weak if that was all God really expected me to do. For the next several weeks I was stuck in the book of Psalms, reading through it several times throughout this period. I'm not sure why, but every time I would finish reading Psalm 150 verse 6 I was compelled to go back to Psalm 1 verse 1 and start reading again. I tried reading different parts of the Bible, but just kept finding myself drawn back to the Psalms.

 

I discovered a lot of things over those weeks. Unfortunately (but maybe not really unfortunate after all) whenever I have one of these “learning experiences” it seems to ruin me. The word praise means something totally different to me than it did when that word first came crashing into my brain. But I digress, that is a whole other subject with which I could fill more pages.

 

My point in all of this? I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can't be at a low point unless there was a high point before, and there is sure to be a high point to follow. Are you looking for the next low point, or the next high point? Don't know what else to do when it seems there is nothing else to do? PRAISE! (Try looking at just Psalm 145 through 150 and see how much praise you see!)

 


The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!  
  
 
     ~ Job

Praise God even when you don't understand what He is doing.
     ~ Henry Jacobsen

Praise the Lord, who is my rock.
     ~ David



New updates this Month:
  • No updates this month, but coming soon are more photos from Danielle, "Dream" series drawings by Rebekah, and a new project from Alex.

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  October 2009


Holy Grail
by Kevin Constance

There have been many stories centered around a mythical cup or bowl which has come to be known as the Holy Grail. Some of the more familiar versions involve King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, or the Templar Knights. These stories typically involve a "Grail Quest" in which the individual must prove their worthiness to possess the item when, or if, they locate it.
 
In reading some of the more classical literature that we have in our library, I stumbled across a poetic piece by James Russell Lowell entitled The Vision of Sir Launfal that made me stop to consider some of the "Holy Grails" in my own life.
 
In order to put my thoughts into perspective I will relate an abbreviated version of the verse, but I encourage you to read it yourself if you are able to find it.
 
Part 1
We begin on a perfect June day, flowers and trees in full splendor, grasses cover the gently rolling hills and a stream flows through the land. In the midst of this setting looms a castle, from which Sir Launfal emerges in shining armor seated upon a steed that is straining at the reigns, ready to begin the journey. Crossing the moat Sir Launfal encounters a lump of a man, a leper, begging alongside the path. Sir Launfal reigns in his steed and pauses, then in disgust tosses a gold coin to the beggar. The beggar lets the coin fall to the earth and leaves it lying in the dust, scorning the coin given only out of duty. Sir Launfal turns from the leper and begins his Grail Quest.

Part 2
Many years have passed and it is now the dead of winter. Trees stand barren against the gray sky and the flowers and grasses are now covered by a blanket of snow, while the stream that once flowed freely through the land is now locked in the grip of winter, only a trickle flowing beneath the frozen cap of ice. Once again we meet Sir Launfal, only now his armor is tarnished and the steed that was once full of vigor trudges along beneath the weight of its rider. The door to the castle he once called home is closed to him as to a stranger. Approaching the castle Sir Launfal encounters a stranger, a beggar, the same leper he had scorned in disgust so many years earlier. Sir Launfal stops, but no longer has any gold coins to toss to a beggar, all he has left is a dried crust of bread and a wooden bowl. Stooping by the frozen stream Sir Launfal breaks through the icy crust and fills the bowl with water, then offers the bread and bowl to the leper. As the leper accepts the gift he is suddenly transformed, and there, standing before Sir Launfal is Jesus himself.

To quote from Lowell:
"Lo, it is I, be not afraid!
In many climes, without avail,
Thou hast spent thy life for the Holy Grail;
Behold, it is here, -- this cup which thou
Didst fill at the streamlet for me but now;
This crust is my body broken for thee,
This water His blood that died on the tree;
The Holy Supper is kept, indeed,
I whatso we share with another's need,
Not what we give, but what we share,
For the gift without the giver is bare;
Who gives himself with his alms feeds three,
Himself, his hungering neighbor, and me."

Okay, kind of a long set-up there, but as I finished reading the poem the first time, I had to go back and read the whole thing again with one question running circles in my mind. "How many Grail Quests have I gone on when the Grail was right there in front of me?"

How many people go through life feeling unfulfilled, searching endlessly for their Holy Grail? For many of us, particularly those of us who are followers of Jesus Christ, our Grail Quest seems a noble pursuit, God's purpose for our life. I've heard many asking questions about what it is that God wants from them, what is God's purpose for their life? This is such a huge question that a book entitled The Purpose Driven Life gained great notoriety in Christian circles, including study groups and in some cases entire church congregations going through the book and study guide together. How many of us, like Sir Launfal, have passed by, even sneered at, our Grail while intently searching for it.

I know that God does have individual purposes for each of our lives, and it is vital that we search out that purpose, but we must be careful that we find that purpose by seeking HIM, not the purpose. When asked which was the greatest commandment Jesus replied, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment.  And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." This second commandment carries such weight that in the Gospel of Matthew chapter 25, Jesus says that this will be the "dividing rod" when the King comes into His Kingdom!
 
So, are you ready to start on a Grail Quest? Careful, your Grail may be closer than you think.




When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.  
  
 
     ~ C. S. Lewis


New updates this Month:

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  September 2009


Three Stars and a Plane
by Kevin Constance

The other evening Patience and I were sitting beside a pool after visiting with some friends. Patience looked up at the sky overhead and said, "I can see three stars." I added, "And a plane!", as a plane was approaching from the south.
 
Okay, that doesn't sound like much of big deal, after all, looking up at the sky at night we expect to see stars, and a lot more than three! But we were sitting in the middle of Pensacola, in a brightly lit area, including some high-intensity lights from a basketball court nearby. All that extra light washed out the lights in the sky above us and we could see "three stars and a plane."
 
One of my first thoughts was about a movie we have in our video library titled Saving Sarah Cain, which Beka and Tori had watched just a couple of nights earlier. I happened to catch a scene where one of the young characters, an Amish boy who had lived his entire life in the country, was taking his first look out the window of a high-rise apartment in the middle of the big city at night and asked the question, "Where are all the stars?" The answer was that they were all still there, you simply couldn't see them all because the light from the city drowned them out. The young boy's response was something along the lines of the idea that he could never live in a place where you couldn't see the stars and included something that his father had told him, "'Dat' always said that stars are pinholes in the fabric of heaven."
 
As we sat there and I watched as the plane flew by to the southeast of us Patience asked, "What are you thinking?" She seems to do that a lot. I must have had one of those "glazed-over" looks on my face indicating that I wasn't really paying attention to what was going on. But what I was thinking was that there were a lot more than three stars overhead. We could only see the three brightest, and an additional artificial light source, because our surroundings were blotting out all of the rest.
 
Life can be like that. The "illumination" of our current circumstances can prevent us from seeing beyond those circumstances. Oftentimes we look out and say, "There are only three stars out tonight," when in reality there are millions of stars out, the same as every other night. We can only see three because our vision is messed up.
 
In life our circumstances act like the city lights, making us short-sighted, unable to see past what we are experiencing in that moment. Sometimes we even start asking questions like, "God where are you? I can't seem to see you in all of this." The night sky seems dull and muted when you can't see the stars, and life can take on that same feeling. BUT, the stars are still there, and when we step outside the circumstances that are blinding us, we can see them and recognize that in the midst of everything, God is still there and unchanging.
 
Sitting there that night we saw three stars and an airplane. We couldn't change that. We did not have the power or authority to turn off the lights and change our circumstances so that we could see the rest of the stars. By faith we simply had to acknowledge that the stars were there and that we weren't seeing the whole picture. Life is like that sometimes.





Faith is like radar that sees through the fog. 
  
 
     ~ Corrie Ten Boom


Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. 
  
      
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.




New updates this Month:
  • New book review, "The Messies Manual" by Sandra Felton in Home Environment
  • New book review, "The Battle Belongs to the Lord" by Joyce Meyer on the Spiritual Wellness page. 

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  August 2009


What's the Point?
by Kevin Constance

The naïveté of youth is a blessing! Youth carries dreams of conquering the world, the view of life as a grand adventure, and a sense of immortality. The darkening of crushed or shattered dreams has not yet cast its tint in our lives and rainbows seem to exist everywhere. 

I'm not sure when things start to change. For some, a catastrophic event in their life may have changed their view of life, but in most cases there is probably no single point in time that a person can point to where they would say, "This is when I started seeing the clouds instead of the rainbows." 

I don't know if it is more prominent at this point in time, or if I am simply more aware of it right now, but it seems that there are many people who find themselves asking, "What's the point? Is this all there is to life - to work and pay the bills? Just to survive? Is there something more and I've missed it? What does God want from me? Why did God even let me be born if this is all there is?"

Well, I have news for you. If you're asking some of those questions, you're not the only one, and you're definitely not the first. A man named Solomon, who is regarded as possibly being the wisest and wealthiest man who ever lived, had those same questions. In his writings he states, "Nothing makes sense! Everything is nonsense. I have seen it all-- nothing makes sense! What is there to show for all of our hard work here on this earth? People come, and people go, but still the world never changes. The sun comes up, the sun goes down; it hurries right back to where it started from. The wind blows south, the wind blows north; round and round it blows over and over again. All rivers empty into the sea, but it never spills over; one by one the rivers return to their source. All of life is far more boring than words could ever say. Our eyes and our ears are never satisfied with what we see and hear. Everything that happens has happened before; nothing is new, nothing under the sun. Someone might say, "Here is something new!" But it happened before, long before we were born. No one who lived in the past is remembered anymore, and everyone yet to be born will be forgotten too. I said these things when I lived in Jerusalem as king of Israel. With all my wisdom I tried to understand everything that happens here on earth. And God has made this so hard for us humans to do. I have seen it all, and everything is just as senseless as chasing the wind. If something is crooked, it can't be made straight; if something isn't there, it can't be counted. I said to myself, "You are by far the wisest person who has ever lived in Jerusalem. You are eager to learn, and you have learned a lot." Then I decided to find out all I could about wisdom and foolishness. Soon I realized that this too was as senseless as chasing the wind. The more you know, the more you hurt; the more you understand, the more you suffer."

So, if a man who had everything felt the same way, what exactly is the point?

Ask a hundred different people and you may get a hundred different answers, but over the past year there has been a one-word answer that keeps flashing through my mind whenever these questions arise, PRAISE. We were given this life for one purpose, to give praise to our Creator. Everything else is of little, if any, consequence. Nothing else in life really matters when we get to the end of it. I have heard some say that this life is practice for the "after-life", or that it is kind of like Basic Military Training for eternity, but as I have thought about it recently it has occurred to me that this life is simply an opportunity to make the decision to give praise to our God and Creator. When you look at the descriptions of Heaven in the Bible there is one thing that is continually taking place, and that is praise.

Over-simplified answer? Maybe. So what are we supposed to do with the days of our lives that we spend on this earth? Well, in the words of Solomon, "Everything you were taught can be put into a few words: Respect and obey God! This is what life is all about." Everything else is of little consequence because it will end with our earthly existence!

So what's the point? Simply another opportunity to praise!




Perhaps it takes a purer faith to praise God for unrealized blessings than for those we once enjoyed or those we enjoy now. 
  
 
     ~ A .W. Tozer


I came naked from my mother's womb, and I will be stripped of everything when I die. The Lord gave me everything I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord! 
  
      
~ Job

I will praise the Lord as long as I live. I will sing praises to my God even with my dying breath. 
  
      ~ David




New updates this Month:
  • New drawing by Rebekah.
  • Updates to the Meet Us page, including Victoria's new picture.

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  July 2009


Baggage
by Kevin Constance
 

We have just finished our fifth move in the past four years.

I was thinking back to some of my first moves when I could pack up pretty much everything I owned into the back of my pickup and do it all in just one or two trips. I've lost count of how many trips we've made during the course of this last move, but it was a lot more than two, and it has involved a cargo trailer and cargo van rather than a pickup.

I guess it is pretty safe to say that I've picked up a little baggage over the past thirty or so years. Of course having a family is a part of that, but as I was packing boxes of stuff onto the trailer I had to wonder, "Why do I have this stuff?" Some of the boxes I was loading hadn't been unpacked since our last move, and a few boxes hadn't been unpacked since I can't remember when.

So just exactly why do I have so much stuff? Some of it I keep around for sentimental reasons, other stuff I have kept because you never know when you just might need it, even though I haven't needed it for several years. And some of my stuff, quite honestly I don't know why I have it, I just can't seem to let go of it.

Perhaps the strangest part of all of this to me is that I have actually thrown out a lot of "useless" stuff over the years. A few years ago I took a whole trailerload of stuff to the dump, and even with this move I threw some stuff into the dumpster instead of into the trailer, but I still seem to have more stuff every time I have to move. Somebody help me!

A couple of years ago I read the book "Repacking Your Bags" (you can find a link to buy this book on the Personal Health page of this site) which has had a significant impact on the way I have viewed the world as a whole. During the course of this move I have found myself thinking about this book quite a bit. The premise of the book is that we should "unpack" our lives, throw out what isn't needed for the present moment, and repack with what we need for today and to move forward, lightening our load, making the journey ahead an easier, more pleasant trip.

As I was loading unused (it is so hard to call some of that stuff useless) items and boxes into the trailer, I began to wonder how much unused, okay, useless, baggage I carry around with me every day. There is so much stuff from our past that we drag around with us: traditions, past experiences, etc, filling our days and our lives so that we don't have room to add something new. And we can end up dragging around so much of this stuff that we get overloaded and can't function the way we need to in order to be effective in our present circumstances and prepare for the future.

We can get pretty attached to all the unused stuff in our lives. Some of it is just familiar and comforting in some aspect. Some of it we carry around because we just might need it some time. And some stuff, probably most of the stuff we carry around, we do so simply because we are afraid to get rid of it, it has become a part of our identity and a security blanket.

I will probably never again be able to move with just one or two pickup loads of stuff, but I'm thinking that I need to do some unpacking and repacking before I have to move again.

And it probably wouldn't hurt to reexamine what I'm carrying around with me everyday and lighten that load as well.



Does all this make you happy? 
  
 
     ~ Thaddeus Ole Koyie, Maasai Village Chief

Everything we possess that is not necessary for life or happiness becomes a burden, and scarcely a day passes that we do not add to it
  
 
 
    ~ Robert Brault

Material blessings, when they pay beyond the category of need, are weirdly fruitful of headache.  
        ~ Philip Wylie




New updates this Month:
  • We MOVED...AGAIN! If you need our new address, please contact us.

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  June 2009


The Seat of Your Pants!
by Kevin Constance
 

I think the phrase goes something like, "Flying by the seat of your pants." The origins of this phrase aren't certain, but it seems to date back to the early days of human flight when pilots had few, if any, instruments to aid them. In short, it seems that the contact, or perhaps lack of contact, between the seat of the aircraft and the seat of the pilots pants were the only indicators to aircraft attitude. Too steep a turn would result in the "pants" sliding in the seat, or in the case of inverted flight, the pants might actually leave the seat.
 
I've witnessed many people recently questioning whether current life circumstances were divine intention or simply life coincidence. Case in point: I fly to Indianapolis for a week on Sunday. I was told to not worry about working and take Friday and Saturday to get ready to leave. I was kind of bummed, who couldn't use a little extra money  in the till these days? Around 9:00 this morning we got word that the owners of the house we are leasing are moving back and that the lease on our house wasn't going to be renewed. Patience was more than just a little bummed, she was downright distressed. I told her, "Things will work out, we've got eight months to find another house that will fit our needs." I knew that Patience, being Patience, wasn't going to wait even a day to start looking. The thing is, she had been looking just a few days earlier, just in case there was something available that might actually be a little better than what we are currently in. There wasn't anything even close to what we already had, hence the decision to try to renew the lease.
 
Patience put her search criteria into the local MLS rental listing and started going through the results. There were 48 listings, 47 of them just weren't going to cut it, but number 48?! Well, by 11:00 we had contacted the realtor and gotten access to the house to look at it. At 1:00 this afternoon we gave our 30-day vacate notice on our current lease and at 3:00 we filled out the application for the new lease.
 
So, big deal right?! Well, yeah, it is a big deal, you see, I was supposed to be in Indianapolis THIS WEEK, therefore I wouldn't have been home until sometime Sunday night! Patience would have been MAJORLY stressed if I had been out of town while all this went down. As I've already mentioned, Patience had already done a search just a few days ago. This house just became available, at just the opportune moment! It is a slightly larger house and has recently had some significant upgrades but is going to cost us $100 a month less than our current lease! And to top it all off, there is a very nice park just two blocks from the house! That may not sound like much to you, but Beka and Tori love parks, and we hadn't been able to find a park within five miles of our current house. And an added plus is that the park has a paved footpath encircling it, meaning no more having to run along the shoulder of the road when I get the urge to "train"! How about the fact that the new location also has a greenhouse and an actual parking pad for the cargo trailer. Need anymore "coincidences" to make make my point?
 
Does the house have some drawbacks? Sure, but the positives far outweigh the drawbacks.
 
So the question lingers. Is this all coincidence? Or is it Divine intention? Danielle reminded us after looking at the house that, "There are no coincidences." I guess to sum it all up, you can't surprise God, He is after all, God, with a capital "G". The thing is, we have been flying by the seat of our pants for so long lately that it seems like some instrumentation would be helpful. We still have many uncertainties ahead of us in many areas of our lives. So many things have gone so much better than we could have planned, yet some of our best plans have soured like milk left out in the Florida sun (the high for today was 91).
 
So many people have tried to define faith in a way that people can grasp. The apostle Paul defined faith as, "the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Many people marveled at the early pilots and their accomplishments. It was often attributed to sheer luck or coincidence when a pilot completed a seemingly impossible flight, but I can guarantee you that those pilots had faith of some sort or other, and a pretty good sense of flying by the seat of their pants. Just maybe, faith is more of a "flying by the seat of your pants" kind of thing than having the perfect flight plan and the most advanced instrumentation.
 
Well, "Hold on to your seats!"



Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous
  
 
     ~ Albert Einstein

Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to
  
 
 
    ~ George Seaton

Sometimes what we believe as coincidence is really just getting ourselves caught in an angel booby trap.  
        ~ Grey Livingston




New updates this Month:

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  May 2009


When the Going Gets Tough...
by Kevin Constance

 
These are difficult times for many, including ourselves. We marked the 25th anniversary of our first date on April 29th and I am sure that on that day neither of us had any idea that we would be at this place in our lives 25 years later.

I have heard and read many times that it is the difficult times that prove the strength and character of individuals and relationships. It is one thing to read those thoughts of course, and quite another to live through them. As much as I would like to avoid the difficulties we are currently going through, I know that when we come through them the strength of our relationship will be greater.

What is it that makes some stronger while others are torn apart? If there is any one thing that keeps things going when the going gets tough it would have to be resolve. Resolve is defined as a firmness of purpose or a firm decision. Another word that has a similar meaning, but that I like better, maybe because I'm a fan of the movie National Treasure, is resolute. We are resolute in our relationship together and as a family. Wedding vows are a resolution of sorts. We state that we take one another in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer and for better or worse. We will all take the health, wealth, and better parts, but it is those other parts that prove the mettle of the relationship.

As I have been writing these thoughts I have begun to wonder if sometimes things fall apart during difficult times because questions and doubts are never talked about. Talking about the difficult circumstances can be ... well ... difficult, yet if those doubts and questions never get addressed it is kind of like a wound that never gets treated and ends up becoming infected and worse. In recent years, Patience and I have set aside time to just sit down and talk about whatever was going on in our lives. Though we didn't go out and have one of those talks today, we did take some time to talk about not letting current circumstances get the best of us.

So what is the point in all of this? Simply this - if you, like us, are going through some tough times, resolve to get through it and be strengthened in the process. Make a firm decision, be resolute, and we'll see you on the other side.



It is not in the still calm of life, or the repose of a pacific station, that great characters are formed ... The habits of a vigorous mind are formed in contending with difficulties. All history will convince you of this, and that wisdom and penetration are the fruit of experience, not the lessons of retirement and leisure. Great necessities call out great virtues. 
  
 
     ~ Abigail Adams

It's difficult to discern the blessing in the midst of brokenness. Certain circumstances in life hurt, at times so intensely that we think we will never heal. After brokenness, we can experience God's greatest blessings. The dawn after a very dark and storm-wracked night is glorious. Joy after a period of intense mourning can be ecstatic. Brokenness is what God uses to replace our self-life with his desires and intents for us. Its end is blessing far greater than we could ever discover apart from being broken. It's spiritual maturity and joyous intimacy with God. Greater depth and power in our ministry to others. New dimensions of freedom, strength, and peace. And a wholeness that comes as God himself reassembles us into someone more closely resembling Jesus Christ. 
  
 
 
    ~ Dr Charles Stanley



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  April 2009


What If?
by Kevin Constance

 
I have to confess that with this being April, and the first being Fool's Day, I had a blurb all ready to go about how it seemed that we are all the victims of an April Fool prank called Stimulus and Bailout. But that really wouldn't serve to SPARK much other than more irritation and frustration with the whole mess. Instead I decided to write about something much more personal, and something that will hopefully stimulate some positive thoughts and results.
 
These are difficult times for many of us. In times like these it can be easy to play the "What If" game. You know, the mental game we play when we start asking ourselves, "What if I had done this?" or "What if I had done that?" or even, "What if I hadn't done that, or if I had done it differently?" We can play out all kinds of scenarios about how everything could have turned out differently if we had made different decisions and choices, or if we had taken other actions. In the end, playing this game doesn't get us very far and only serves to increase our doubt about the decisions and choices that we must make today or in the near future. Playing the what if game with past events can make us question decisions and actions that were utlimately "right" but lead to an unforseen outcome.
 
There is however a variation of this mental game that can have a drastically different outcome. Instead of playing the "What If" game in hindsight, we should challenge ourselves to play the game with the future as the game board.
 
I recently viewed the movie Time Machine based on the book by H.G. Wells, in which the main character invents a time machine after the death of his bride-to-be in order to try to change the events that lead up to her death. Even though he succeeds in altering individual events, the outcome remains the same. Ultimately the time traveller determines that he cannot change the past, he can only change the future with his actions, specifically his own future.
 
We can't change the past playing the "What If" game, but we can change our future. Instead of asking questions like "What if I had done that?" start asking yourself the questions like, "What if I do this?" We can't play out every scenario and forsee every posible conclusion, but it leads us to moving forward and inventing our future. We may still find ourselves in a place we didn't forsee, but that doesn't mean we made the "wrong" decision, it was just one of those "What If" things and there is another "What If" waiting for us just around the next corner.
 
Of course like any other game, you must move your game-piece, in other words, you can spend all day playing "What If", but until you take a step in a "What If" direction you aren't changing anything or going anywhere.
 
What if......
 


Life's rewards go to those who let their actions rise above their excuses.
    ~ Lee J Colan

So what do we do? Anything. Something. So long as we don't just sit there. If we screw it up, start over. Try something else. If we wait until we've satisfied all the uncertainties, it may be too late.
    ~ Lee Iacocca



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  March 2009


If It Isn't Broke...
by Kevin Constance

There are two versions of this phrase that I am aware of, the first is, "If it isn't broken, don't fix it", and the second is, "If it isn't broken, break it!" 
 
Something seems to be broken and in retrospect it seems that if someone had broken it earlier things might be a whole lot different than they are today. First we started by bailing out banks, now we are bailing out automakers, and who knows who will be next. Who gets to decide who gets to be "bailed out"? But to me an even better question is why are we bailing any of them out anyway? Why are we rewarding institutions for acting irresponsibly. 
 
The whole system of borrowing more to try to get out of debt is horribly flawed. If there ever was a time to genuinely fix something it seems that now would be that time. And it seems that the best way to fix something is to get rid of what is broken and replace it with new parts rather than simply trying to patch what is wrong.
 
I'm no political guru, nor am I a financial genius, but it seems that the so called "Stimulus Package" is little more than a patch on an old wineskin, to use a Biblical example. Maybe we should let some banks and companies who made risky investments and poor decisions reap what they have sown. Would there be consequences? Yes. But what will the consequences of simply encouraging more of the same be. It seems that the Stimulus Package is flawed because it encourages more of what created the whole stink in the first place, borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, then borrowing from Phil to pay Peter, and continuing to go deeper and deeper into debt to try to get out of debt. Definitely some flawed thinking there, yet that is the "favor" that our government is wanting to do for us. And through it all nothing will get fixed.
 
I recently read Rainforest Strategy by Michael Pink. In the book Pink observed something about the rainforest that could go a long way toward fixing what is broken. In the rain forest something very interesting happens when one or more of the ancient "old growth" trees falls. When one of these grand old trees falls it is a loss to those creatures who had a stake in that tree, for example, some creatures who had made their homes there lost their homes, and some creatures who relied on those trees for food lost their food source. But when those giants fall something else happens, a flurry of new life and new growth on the forest floor, creating more homes and food for other and more diverse populations. You see, those colossal giants that we were so fond of were robbing other plant forms of the light they needed to grow and thrive, and it was only when the existing system, which seemed so grand and significant, broke that something new was able to take place.
 
Maybe we would actually be better off to go ahead and just let something break.  That way maybe we could actually fix what is wrong rather than just keep trying to patch it together and keep it running for a little longer.  My experience has been that a fix earlier is generally a whole lot easier and less expensive than the fix later.
 
I think its time for a new wineskin!

Do you have something that needs to be broken?




I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.”     
    ~ Winston Churchill


A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.”     
    ~ George Bernard Shaw


The government is like a baby's alimentary canal, with a happy appetite at one end and no responsibility at the other.”     
    ~ Ronald Reagan


The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.”     
    ~ Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)





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  February 2009


Risk
by Kevin Constance

There is a game by that name, if I remember correctly, though I don't remember exactly how to play it, I think it was a variation of the game of chess.
 
Risk is an interesting thing. There are some risks we take without ever really thinking about it, like getting behind the wheel of a vehicle and heading out into traffic. Some people think I take an extra risk in that area since I tend to get around a lot by motorcycle these days. For me it is an almost natural mode of transportation, but I often run into people who think I have lost my marbles.  Whether or not I have lost my marbles may be a topic of some debate, but for me, riding a motorcycle is one of those risks I am willing to take and rarely give it a second thought.
 
There is an element of risk in just about anything we do, but it seems to be our nature to reduce or eliminate as much of the risk as we can. Just look at all the "safety" measures that surround us in our day to day lives. Often, if we are not able to minimize the risk to our satisfaction, we simply decide it isn't worth proceeding. By and large, we are risk averse.
 
And yet, when we look back through history, and even in our present day, it is those individuals who took, or take, great risk who we admire. Galileo risked the derision of his colleagues. Columbus, Perry and others risked not only their lives but also the lives of those who journeyed with them. The founding fathers of this nation risked their lives as well as the lives of their families. Think about the people whom we most admire, whatever their field, whether the arts, science or politics, these are people who have taken great risk.
 
There are two statements that I have been thinking about a lot recently. The first is, great accomplishment requires great risk. The second is, great vision encompasses great risk. In short, to achieve great things, we must be willing to accept, even embrace, great risk. It is actually our desire for safety, ie. risk aversion, that can hinder us from achieving the things we dream of.
 
I don't particularly like big risk. It makes me feel anxious and even edgy. But on the other hand, when complacency sets in I have to ask myself, what am I doing, and more importantly, why am I even bothering to do it. Being a little anxious and unsure of the results tends to continue pushing us forward, preventing us from stagnating where we are. 
 
Of course there is that one thing about risk, there is always the chance of failure. That is the nature of risk. That is what makes the accomplishment so rewarding. 
 
Do you want to achieve something great? What are you willing to risk?




“If your life is free of failures, you're not taking enough risks.”     
    ~ H Jackson Brown Jr

You have the right to be wrong. Let your ideas fail, let your skills prove their inadequacy, and let your knowledge reveal its limits. None of that is the real you anyway. When you fail you discover your boundaries. You map out the edges of your capabilities. And this allows you to eventually move beyond them. Being wrong eventually leads to being right. And even where it doesn’t, it’s still a more interesting path than being nothing.”     
    ~ Steve Pavlina





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  January 2009


Resolute
by Kevin Constance

I have to confess that as I was pondering what to write for this month's SPARK, many of my thoughts were pretty cynical.  I guess that isn't terribly surprising to those who know me best, but things such as "What's so new about the New Year, what's the big deal about turning the page on a calendar or getting a new calendar" crossed my mind.  As I thought about all of this I started making mental notes about the truly significant changes that I have made in my life over the years and determined that none of them coincided with the beginning of a new year, most, in fact, occurred in the latter half of those years.
 
As I have continued thinking on all of this I began to think, "Wow, wouldn't it really be something if you really could wipe the slate clean and start over simply by turning the page on a calendar or by opening the first page of a new calendar."  Well, a new year really doesn't do all that, in essence, all a new year does is mark the passing of time and make us fumble for a few days trying to remember to write down the correct year on documents, which even that is almost passe with the trend toward check cards rather than physically writing out checks.  Even New Year's resolutions are on my hit list, seeing as so many of those seem to fall by the wayside within the first couple of weeks, if not days.  So, in all of my cynicism, I decided that all of the fuss and celebration over the New Year was rubbish.  I quess you can call me the New Year Scrooge.
 
Now, of course, I'm really wound up and on a rampage, but a thought has struck me, "Maybe all of those New Year's resolutions are so easily made and broken because the word 'resolution' is misused or misunderstood."  It seems that when we make a list of resolutions it is little more than a wish list or an "I'll try to do this" list, but when you look at the definitions of these two words there is something much greater indicated. 
 
The thesaurus uses words like: unyielding, stubborn, unbendable, unwavering and tenacious for the word resolute.  Imagine putting together a list of things for the coming year about which you would be stubborn, unyielding and tenacious.  As I have continued this train of thought I now come to the conclusion that a list of resolutions is a list of things that I deem are worth fighting for!
 
Some years ago I made a resolution that, although made tongue-in-cheek, I have stuck by.  I resolved to make no resolutions.  Okay, so the resolution itself betrayed the resolution (did that make any sense?), but today I have chosen to willfully break that resolution and put together a list of things I am prepared to fight for, not only in the coming year but in years to come.
 
1. I will grow daily spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically.
2. I will encourage those around me to do the same.
3. I will seek out the good and positive things in others instead of seeking out their faults.
 
Okay, so my list is short. I figure there are only so many battles I can fight at one time and expect to win.  You see, I do expect to win because I am resolute in these areas.  Next year I can look for more battles to fight.
 
What are you willing to fight for?




“The traveler that resolutely follows a rough and winding path will sooner reach the end of his journey than he that is always changing his direction, and wastes the hour of daylight in looking for smoother ground and shorter passages.”     
    ~ Samuel Johnson


New updates this Month:
  • Our BMT Graduation page is ready, where you can read Dad's and Mom's perspectives and see pictures from the weekend. 
  • Updates to the Meet Us page, including Alex's Air Force portrait. 

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